I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
