yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
