I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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