3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
