Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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