He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
