I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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