I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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