There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
