Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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