Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Randomize
