I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
