She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
