i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
