THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
