i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How many fucks given?
0.12846
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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