I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
