apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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