Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
