Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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