Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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