her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
