she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
