Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
