This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
