doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
