I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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