I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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