Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
