PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
