Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
