this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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