Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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