ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
