Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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