She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
