i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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