Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize