Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
