Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
