At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
