Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
