yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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