hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
