let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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