We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
