can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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