You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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