Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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