do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
