I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
