No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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