He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
