i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
