so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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