HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
