How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
