well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
my poor anus
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
