Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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