"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
