whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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