I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"