There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
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either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
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You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??