I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.