i can't believe i had my finger in that
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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