Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!! http://tfl.nu/bjxs
  Replies (31) Good night (3930) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again. http://tfl.nu/1qgn
  Replies (76) Good night (22204) Bad night (1645)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified. http://tfl.nu/2va0
  Replies (27) Good night (5216) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood. http://tfl.nu/55rt
  Replies (14) Good night (5081) Bad night (1750)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better" http://tfl.nu/pc1d
  Replies (15) Good night (4746) Bad night (1603)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something http://tfl.nu/ixq2
  Replies (9) Good night (888) Bad night (2743)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation http://tfl.nu/vlgs
  Replies (12) Good night (1279) Bad night (2726)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing http://tfl.nu/c7lz
  Replies (23) Good night (6124) Bad night (1624)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why do you have to go to the hospital?

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Why do you have to go to the hospital? (407): I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me http://tfl.nu/224u
  Replies (7) Good night (958) Bad night (1931)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it. http://tfl.nu/2oiv
  Replies (4) Good night (460) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable. http://tfl.nu/iadb
  Replies (4) Good night (340) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/3psv
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed http://tfl.nu/ufxs
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car http://tfl.nu/e3ee
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!! http://tfl.nu/ndto
  Replies (0) Good night (78) Bad night (15)

Randomize