When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"