first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.