And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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